Maybe this time I'll be bulletproof.

I think that it's high time I switch my evening hot chocolate to African Red Bush tea with Splenda and fat free half and half. I really can't even express how much I love fat free half and half. It's so genius. I don't even need to buy milk anymore. Only 20 calories for 2T and it makes my beverages light enough. I hate a murky cup of coffee/tea. It's gotta be cream-colored in order for me to drink it. I also need to start eating yogurt parfaits on the daily, because they are so damn delicious and nutritious. I don't think I will ever NOT be able to snack at night, so I should at least be eating something healthy when I'm doing it.

Unrelated, La Roux is so good. Jeffrey hates it. He clearly is delusional.

Also, Soviet Art Photography from the 1970s-1980s. I must see this exhibition. Zimmerli Museum knows what's up. They speak to me and my love for everything Soviet/Russian. I should finagle getting a sweet job there giving museum tours or working in the gift shop or something ANYTHING GODDDD HOW WILL I EVER FIND A CAREER WITH A HISTORY MAJOR AND A FRENCH MINOR? Fuck my life.

I have an insanely disgusting amount of reading for all of my classes this semester. I spent $150 today on six books for ONE class. I better learn SO MUCH about the Renaissance and Reformation that I could lecture on it for hours. Or else, MONEY WASTED. I'm going to have such a badass Historian's bookshelf when I have my own place.

Just for my future use:

I can't wait until my hair is so long that I can curl it and it will still be long. These are my wildest hopes and dreams. I can't breathe out of one nostril. Goodnight.


Seattle Recap

I spent Tuesday through this morning visiting Alejandro in Washington. What a week! Tuesday night I arrived after having been kicked in the back for 5 1/2 hours by the child sitting behind me on the plane and Alej and I drove around Seattle and ate at a microbrewery, where we had a multitude of inappropriate dinner conversations, all of which were overheard by the hipster behind us reading his book, who would sporadically look up and stare at me with bulging eyes when the word "penis" was uttered (which was... well, a lot.) The next day we went back to Seattle to see Pike's Place Market, where I stared at organic chocolate bars for twenty minutes. We ate lunch at famous Elliot's Oyster House on the water and then ventured to Quincy.

Alej's family is huge and I'm pretty sure I met two women named Lupita. On Thursday, we went to Wenatchee to a Mexican restaurant where we ate fried ice cream (OMG) and then we went to Leavenworth, which is seriously fucking weird. Everything looks like it belongs in a Bavarian village. Every store is either "House of..." or "Das...." Das Subway! Das Copy Shoppe! Insanity!

I'll tell ya though, this place had a chocolate shop (Schocolat) which had the most incredible melt-in-your-mouth dark chocolate I have ever devoured.
That night, Alej and I drove 45 minutes to go bowling, but ended up playing a violent shooting game called Target for Terror. We probably dropped at least 10 bucks playing and at the end, we failed our mission and the terrorists crashed their plane into the White House. Fuckers.

Friday night, after I had my first experience with AUTHENTIC LEGIT Mexican food, was the birthday party for Alej, Sam and his dad at the Club. There was so much authentic Mexican music, Coors Light and tequila. I met a dude named Angel, who was like a Mexican pseudo-scene gangster who asked for my number and told me that Alejandro was in fact straight and that "he would pretend to be gay to be with a girl like me." Play on, playa.

Saturday was back to Seattle, where we went to Blue-C Sushi WHICH HAS SUSHI ON A CONVEYOR BELT.


We went to a thrift/vintage shop called Red Light which totally changed my life. I bought a beautiful vintage silver and black coctail dress with velvet black trim on the neckline. This is incentive for me to start my new diet and fitness regimen tomorrow, cause that shit is WAY tight. Then, we went to dinner and to R Place, a gay club that had a drag show and sexy glittery oiled-up go-go dancers in Superman briefs. I got ogled at by plenty a butch lesbian and ended up shakin' it with this really cute girl who looked like Avril Lavigne. She put her number in my phone. I should totally call her.

So this week was all about:
1. Snow-capped mountains
2. Mexicans
3. Greenery
4. Scrabble
6. Delicious Food


And I also learned how to say "Show me your penis" in Spanish. Win.



I am full of glee because, for one, Glee won the Golden Globe for best TV Series (Musical/Comedy). Hurrah! Also, because Lea Michelle worked a totally glam black dress on the red carpet.

This dress reminds me of the one in that deodorant commercial with the French song, where the woman rubs deodorant on her sexy chiseled bellhop and then sashays her ass off at the end in a super gorgeous black dress. So French.

Also gleeful because in two days I will be in Seattle visiting BFF Alejandro for five days of fun, photography and debauchery! Not to mention some extremely fresh and delicious seafood. What could be better?

Currently, my boyfriend is fast asleep on my shoulder like a little puppy dog. Awwwww.


Current Obsessions

JEFFREY CAMPBELL. The Spring/Summer 2010 Collection Preview was just released. I'm sort of "eh" on most of them, but absolutely need these crazy sandals.

yes, yes, YES.

Also, discovered Nasty Gal which has a sweet collection of dresses, both new and vintage, at relatively reasonable prices. AND a huge selection of JC shoes. Oh, swoon.

These boots make my heart sing. Alas, spring will be coming in a couple of months and suede boots will no longer be reasonable.

Also, completely obsessed with purchasing items for my kitchen. I need to find some cute placemats, which I will probably look for at Pier 1, a napkin and paper towel holder, and an electric mixer and a food processor. Okay, so maybe the last two are wishful thinking. I have become enamored of cooking and baking and though I'm still a novice, I'd say I'm improving rapidfire. On Thursday night, Lisa and I went back to our childhood and made our own Boboli pizza, using the whole wheat thin crust variety and shredded mozzarella, sliced plum tomatoes, olives, onions, turkey pepperoni and artichoke hearts. It was INCREDIBLE. We then took a risk with fat-free brownies which... sucked. Yesterday, we made heart-shaped Nutella-filled sandwich cookies, inspired by a Martha Stewart recipe. Hers was, of course, extremely complicated so instead of making our own dough, we bought Pillsbury Sugar Cookie dough and rolled it out. I'm sure no one could tell the difference! I felt like that lady on the Food Network who makes semi-homemade dinners. Last night, Jeffrey and I made chicken quesadillas which also turned out marvelous - especially with hot sauce, which I've strangely taken quite the liking to.

Recently, as I was cleaning out my room I found a slew of old CD's, most of which were pretty embarrassing, but one of which was an unopened copy of The Bird and the Bee's self-titled debut album from a few years back. My mom bought it for herself but gave it to me after she noticed one of the songs was called "Fucking Boyfriend" and decided maybe this wasn't the right music for her. For some reason, I went YEARS without listening to it, depriving myself of so much musical greatness. In an attempt to make up for lost time, I have basically only been listening to them (and the Glee Soundtrack) for the past week. In addition to making some great original indie rock, they also do great covers of the Bee Gees' "How Deep is Your Love?" and Rihanna's "Don't Stop the Music." AND, the guy from the band mixed all the tracks for Lily Allen's newest album. Love.


If you blog it, they will come. Maybe.

Alej suggested that I start a blog, because I am always looking up bizarre things on the internet. Basically, I tend to google whatever pops into my head. Tonight, I googled "duck confit pronunciation" because for some reason I thought it was con-FIT. I AM A FRENCH MINOR. SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE. So, here are some things that I have been exploring on the wonderful world wide web today.

Jesse Blaze Snider, son of hideous rock and roll manbeast Dee Snider. He was on that show "Rock the Cradle" where sons and daughters of rock stars competed against each other to get a record deal. Alejandro and I were sickly obsessed with Chloe Lattanzi, the anorexic and emotionally disturbed daughter of Olivia Newton-John. Here is her singing a rousing version of Britney Spears' "Toxic." And uh... chillin' with her dad in a teepee. Work those duck lips, girl.

Oh shit, back to JESSE BLAZE.

No words are necessary.

In addition to this flashback, I spent about an hour today trying to find out how to make dessert healthy. Is it truly worth it to replace a stick of butter with applesauce? I think that's something I should try on my own time. And as much as I adore Splenda, there is no way in hell I am baking a cake with it. This was the best-looking low-cal dessert that I could find... one that actually has chocolate in it and isn't some bullshit yogurt and fruit deal. THAT'S NOT DESSERT.

Peanut-Butter Grahamwiches. I'd say it's worth a try.

And then I found a recipe for healthy brownies!

Really, I just want to make this coffee cake and eat the entire thing in one sitting. Pioneer Woman, you don't know what you do to me with your cooking blog.

Considering the fact that I can barely fit into any of my clothes, I probably shouldn't choose now as the time to foray into cooking and baking.... Fuck it.